an ode to everyone’s favourite doorman:
the sober witness
precise, attentive, passionate,
yet shockingly poor drunk-dar
armed with an endless flow of water bottles
a water bottle and a warning
to the soberest of the bunch
while her friend blacks out
and vomits, ever discreetly
it’s just a bit of drugs
why so offended?
“i don’t even want to give him water!”
but what good are you, what good are any of us
if your water bottles run dry?
“I napped all night”
…Wildcards don’t sleep bro.
Always one eye open, ready to get reckless.
(Just try not to fall on your head anymore, it scares me a little.)
scaring kids since ’88
We’re going to slow it on down this winter. Polar Vortexes and Ice Storms are no time for excessive drinking!
So we’ve settled on a plan. Wine only this winter, and stay away from the bars.
But as the season goes on some of us become creative with our interpretations. Which begs the question,
Is it within the rules to drink a magnum to the face?
There are many more questions magnum consumption-related behaviour calls to the fore, to which answers may remain ever elusive. How do *I* keep ending up in the hospital when other people can’t even keep their shoes on their feet while they’re walking? Is there anything *actually* inappropriate about drinking in public? Is it okay to swear at crying babies if they’re messing up your buzz?
started from the top now we made it to the bottom
Moments are captured and then things change.
A turn of events can happen any time.
One person pictured, who will remain unnamed but may or may not be wearing some sassy spikes, proceeded change her entire perspective. Literally.
As in, she wanted to get a different viewpoint. Like maybe a real close look at the pavement.
As in, she put in a good fight but in the end lost to the cobblestones.
As in, the slowest and most graceful faceplant yours truly has ever had the privilege to witness – and I’ve seen a few.
Faceplants will forever be held to a higher standard thanks to my remarkable friends.
It seems that when we created this blog we forgot about one crucial element – “blog posts.” So here we go. This post is dedicated to Sagal. Happy Birthday! To begin, a thematically relevant tune for your enjoyment:
A couple of weeks ago it was our lovely friend Sagal’s birthday, and she loves the book and movie A Clockwork Orange. I think this particular devotchka knows a thing about the old ultraviolence herself, eh Sagal? We wanted to have a real horrorshow (ha. ok I’ll stop) time, so naturally we made her a clockwork themed cake to get the night started off in style:
What’s it gonna be then, eh?
It was received incredibly well and we all proceeded to indeed have a horrorshow night. Some of us had sooo much fun that we used up our fun quotas for the next several days. I’ll leave that one open to interpretation. Oh, and Ellen also made this amazing card for her… who else agrees that Ellen could sell those shits?
Anyway, so the music. As many of us know, classical music is pretty crucial piece of the Clockwork story and particularly predominant in the movie. I used to listen to a few of the songs from the soundtrack on repeat when I was in university and had a paper due on a tight timeline. ie. every paper I ever wrote. It would get me all pumped up in this super weird and uncomfortable adrenaline high/anxiety-bordering-psychosis type of way. I’m not kidding, as anyone who was there for my ‘floating head in the field’ moment can attest. I don’t listen to that soundtrack a whole lot anymore because it takes me right back to those unsavory days living in the depths of the science library … 3am… over midterms/finals weeks… I once had to write two 25 page papers and one 10 page paper in 3 days *shudder*
Right. So rather than the actual music from the book/movie – why not go meta – and throw in some music influenced by the film: Bowie, Ziggy Stardust era. The one song from the Ziggy album that reeally jumps out as clockwork inspired is Sufragette City, but I kinda think Starman is a way better song, and this is my blog so whhhhhateverrr. In the infamous performance above, Bowie’s quilted jumpsuit was inspired by Alex et. al.’s outfits in the Kubrick film. This I learned from a visit to the AGO’s David Bowie Is… exhibit. Rad stuff.
To bring it back to our dear Sagal I’ll sign off with another Bowie song that reminds me of her in the BEST (read: sarcasm) kind of way. Breaking Glass, from the album Low – my personal fave Bowie album. I won’t elaborate on the song choice, though a few of you out there will know exactly what I’m talking about. Love you Wildcard!
What sound does a unicorn make? “U-Neighhhhh!” Get it? 😉