I’m getting my cast off TOMORROW!!!! Here are some reflections on my trials and tribulations.
The Story: I broke my leg on October 25 during a hockey game. Spiral Fracture of the Fibula. Although I very clearly heard/felt a snap and can say with certainty that no leg should bend the way mine bent I was also in denial about the situation and almost didn’t go to the hospital. It was also a Friday night and living in an urban centre I reallllly didn’t want to go to an ER for fear that it would be full of drunk shitshows. I was correct in having that fear. Hammered Bros were in abundance.
After 4 frustrating hours (I frequently reminded myself that at least I don’t have to pay for this, even though I do have benefits but if I didn’t ….) I was pretty unkind to the ER Doctor who told me it was broken, and in my pain & exhaustion-induced delirium sort of considered launching a formal complaint against her. I think that maybe shooting the messenger is in some cases actually very satisfying? Obviously there was no follow up around that.
What I’m looking forward to:
- Not wearing leggings every single day… omg. Pantssssssssss! I never knew the prospect of PANTS could be so exciting
- Wearing shoes on both feet because I am disproportionately damaging all my left boots hopping around in this hateful slush and salt
- No longer struggling with the daily angst that comes with feeling that my toe sock is totes hobo looking
- Not having to put a bag on my leg in the shower and also no longer feeling like every shower is a real risk of slipping and seriously compromising what cranial integrity still exists in this highly abused noggin
- Not having to explain to everyone I see/meet how I broke my leg and then having them tell me “at least it’s a cool story!” …it’s not.
- Being able to drink obscene amounts of coffee once again without fear of judgment (I have severely decreased my intake because I have to ask people to get it for me and at a point it gets embarrassing, like that I need to drink coffee beyond the XL I get each morning [which is on top of the one I drink at home before I leave which no one even knows about], especially at work where everyone else drinks tea and actually, seriously, some people drink chamomile all day…)
- Oh uh this goes without saying and there’s no punchline but FUCKING WALKING
- Also, playing sports and riding my bike! ughhhhhh fantasies
In conclusion having a broken leg is balls and I can’t wait to get this lumbering hunk of crap off my leg. I’ve been a bit anxious and distracted all day just thinking about it. I’m going to post a song, which I’m not sure has anything to do with my leg except that I find it immensely calming and cool to listen to when taking painkillers – it’s like drifting off into a whole other realm of bliss,
This tune of mind-bending beauty will send me off into a deep and healing sleep soon and then it’s just hours til the cast gets sawed off. WATCH YO-SELF RIGHT FOOT SHOES, HERE I COME!